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Appreciate the Last Days

Posted by Aisha Al Hajjar, MSM BSM LM CPM AMANI on December 11, 2015 at 8:25 AM

Appreciate the Last Days

Photo Credit: Naja Helal

THERE are many transitions in life. Some happen subtly and leave us wondering, “Where did the time go?” The month of Ramadan is a prime example.

 

I find myself looking at the calendar in amazement when there are just a few days left. I question, “Did I do enough during the blessed month? Did I work my hardest? Will I live to see the blessings and opportunities of the next Ramadan? Have I truly earned Allah’s mercy or have I carelessly let the month slip by virtually unnoticed?”

 

But some transitions are far from subtle. Birth and death are two such grand events. In the context of birth, the evolution from pregnant woman to mother happens in a dramatic event that can’t go unnoticed.

 

In fact, birth is such a life-altering event that I can notice some similarities with Judgment Day. Below are just some of the ways I can see a comparison:


  • We are aware of the coming of both days.
  • It benefits us to prepare for birth and Judgment.
  • Each is a transition that brings dramatic changes.
  • These changes are lasting and cannot be undone.
  • Both are inevitable events divinely scheduled in our future.
  • The date of birth is as unknown as the hour of Judgment.


End-of-Term Weariness


It’s understandable that many women feel tired of pregnancy as their term comes due. In fact, some women rush to finish the process by scheduling medical intervention just to get it over with. 


Personally, I feel in doing so they are cheating themselves and their babies of the important last days of pregnancy as well as the benefits of the completely natural birth experience, Allahualim.  Not to mention that the due date is the middle of a four week window, not an absolute expiration or eviction date.  It's important that we allow our baby to complete his/her growth in the womb and wait for baby's readiness to spark the start of labor naturally.


In my opinion, the emotional weariness that can come before birth is a blessing from Allah. I see this as a natural psychological preparation for letting go of pregnancy and welcoming motherhood, subhan’Allah. 


Allah Guides


I, for one, love being pregnant (hence the eight children), alhamdulelah. Honestly, I like being pregnant more than not. For me, if it weren’t for the exhaustion of the last few days, I’d probably never be emotionally ready to move on from my pregnancy.


But Allah has a way of preparing us, subhan’Allah. In my case, I truly feel that the fatigue of the final days, coupled with the discomforts of labor, are the guidance I need to transition into mothering my new baby, alhamdulelah.


Take Advantage of the Last Days


I find it helpful to remember that these last days truly are the last you’ll live in the life you know. This is especially true for first-time mothers. It’s easy to see that once you birth your baby, life surely will never be the same again.


With that in mind, try to take advantage of your last days of pregnancy. Focus on the aspects of your life that will most be affected by the new addition. Considering the amount of attention the newborn will need, I feel the following are important:


  • Private time with your husband
  • Special time for older children (especially the youngest who will lose his status).
  • Attention to your personal needs.
  • Completing any projects you’ve started.
  • Stock up on groceries.
  • Letter writing to welcome the unborn child (for reading at a mature age).


A New Norm


Change is inevitable and it’s a well-known truth that the only thing constant in life is change. Even though life will never be the same again, you will settle into a new life with your baby. Your family will adjust and a new norm will be found, bidnillah.


Just as it’s difficult to imagine what life will be like with a baby while you’re expecting, it’s equally as difficult to remember what it was like before the arrival, once he or she is here, masha’Allah.


Treasure the Time 


Transitioning from pregnancy to motherhood and watching our children grow is a bold reminder of the ultimate passing of dunya.  Just as the blessed month of Ramadan always draws to an end in due time, so does pregnancy.  We should always bear in mind that we never know if this will be our last chance to balance our account. May Allah accept our deeds, bless our efforts, and have mercy on us all.

©2010 AMANI Inc., All Rights Reserved.  All writings are the original work of Aisha Al Hajjar and are based on her personal research, experiences, and opinions.

Categories: Pregnancy, Labor and Birth, Doulas

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